Report_2003

我在很多年前，他們首次在文教中心向社區人士介紹燃燈計劃時，見過他一次。之後，好幾年皆只聞朋友談到他所做的事，卻未再見過他。再之後，又聽說他病得很嚴重，命在旦夕，隨時皆需仰仗氧氣筒維持著下一口氣。

Many years ago, I went to EEP’s first presentation. That was the first time I saw him. For several years after that, I only heard about his progress with the charity. Then I heard that he was so ill that he needed an oxygen tank to survive.

一直到去年﹙2002年﹚，我才又見過他幾次。那時，我住在法拉盛羅賓森街的一幢合作公寓內，每天清晨皆到凱辛納公園散步，來回正好一小時，符合我國體育名將紀政女士所推行的每日萬步走健康行動。每次我從凱辛納公園北側的小高地，走下湖邊的步道時，皆可見到一位身形矯健，全身無一贅肉的華人體操老師，領著數十名中外人士做晨操。我未停下來參加做晨操，只是獨自散步，視心情有時快步、有時漫步。

有幾次天氣好時見到陳金浩，他坐在湖邊的長椅上，行動遲緩，旁邊還放著一個氧氣筒。偶爾，也見到他坐在長椅上，身體擺動著，伸展一下手腳，卻未見到他身旁攜著氧氣筒，我就以為他的病情可能有所好轉，不再需要氧氣筒了。

我曾和一位屬龍的女中醫，談到紐約的山川靈氣，這位醫師鐵口直言說，紐約州有兩龍穴，一在上州的寧靜湖，另一就在法拉盛凱辛納公園內。真巧，這兩個地方皆是我喜歡的景點。我以前還特地去查KISSENA這個字的意思。據說是印地安原住民的語言，原意是「好涼的水」。我們就姑且相信凱辛納公園是充滿靈氣的龍穴，我想陳金浩在此迎晨曦，健康應可望改善。

It was not until last year (2002) that I started to see him more frequently. I have a habit of taking a walk every morning in Kissena Park, near my home. There was always a coach giving exercise class near the lake. Sometimes when the weather was good, I would see Howard sitting on the bench with an oxygen tank near him. Sometimes when I did not see the oxygen tank, I assumed that he was getting better. Kissena Park is very famous for its good Feng Shui. I’ve looked up the word ‘Kissena’ and found that it meant ‘cool water’ to the Native Indians. I suppose the good energy here must have done something that helped Howard.

另有一次，我印象特別深刻的是，我正繞著凱辛納公園的小湖散步時，見到陳金浩參加晨操者的行列做各種動作。當教練要大家蹲下去時，我看到陳金浩蹲坐下去，就站不起來。
那段時間，正好碰到法拉盛有些人，動不動就說那一個大師有神通。在滿天神佛的世界，平常人淡而無味的生活，了無吸引力，只有具神通的大師，才能引人入勝，週遭也會有眾多弟子。

我看到陳金浩站不起來時，就想到，以他的身體狀況，他如能站起來，就是示現神通。就一個病人而言，在坐下與站起之間，竟有如此困難，正常人的俯仰對病人而言，皆是神通。但是，陳金浩這個如此無神通的病人，他在中國的落後山村所成就的事，豈是神通所能概括的？他讓一些被中國的「人民政府」所放棄的人民，重新見識到何謂立志？何謂希望？神通所不能給人的對人的善願與信念。陳金浩這個病入膏肓的人，卻以他不懈的堅持與毅力，給紐約的朋友和在中國被遺忘的窮困小孩，立下一個珍貴的榜樣，個人雖然渺小，但也可以活得很有意義。

他最後竟是因一場小感冒就走了。

I remember one time while I was walking around the lake, I saw Howard in the exercise group. When the coach told them to squat down and then stand up, Howard could not stand up at all. At that time, there were quite a few people who claimed to have super natural powers and supposedly performed miracles. It struck me that if Howard could stand up with his physical condition, it would be a miracle as well. It’s so difficult for a weak patient like him to perform simple actions such as squatting and standing.

All the things that healthy people take for granted are miracles to these patients. On the other hand, a weak patient like Howard who could not have done these simple tasks accomplished something beyond miracles. He gave hope to those who were abandoned by their government. The kindness and faith that he inspired in those people is much more than just a miracle. His persistence gave all his friends in New York and the forgotten children in China a good role model. As small and humble we are as individuals, we can still make life more meaningful if we try.
It is a shame that he was taken away by a bad cold.

在麥當勞大家談得哈哈大笑的趣事是：一位算命先生對陳金浩的一個朋友說：「你今年的流年，不應參加任何喪事。」這朋友說：我不是參加喪事，我是參加funeral ，也是參加他的party。他就理所當然出席了。他的流年，也因為對好友的心意而跟著轉了。

另一位生肖屬猴的陳金浩的朋友要走入靈堂時，有人說屬猴的人犯，不宜進靈堂。這位朋友說：「好吧！我還是別進去，就坐外面好了。免得我沖到金浩﹐對他不好。」從來都是活人怕死人，這位朋友卻擔心他自己沖到死人。

At McDonald’s, my acquaintances spoke about some interesting things that happened at Howard’s funeral. One of his friends was warned by a fortuneteller that she should avoid funerals this year because they would bring him bad luck. But this friend laughed it off with a new explanation of the funeral. “It is not a funeral, it is a party”. Their friendship was deeper than an ominous warning. Another friend who was born in the year of monkey was warned not to enter the viewing room because of the conflict that was caused by their zodiac signs.

This friend heeded the advice and decided to be respectful of Howard. “In that case, I better sit outside. I don’t want to hurt Howard.” It is always the living that is afraid of the dead. But this friend turned that logic around with his thoughtfulness.

當大家笑成一團時，我覺得陳金浩也會微笑感受到這群朋友的心意。紐約這個地方，即使有萬般缺點，但華人社區還有一些和陳金浩志同道合的朋友，他先走一步之後，還有人繼續燃燈，只為了一點微光，尚能繼續在那被人遺忘的世界亮著。想到我們週遭竟還有這些人，怎麼會寂寞呢﹖

When everyone broke out with laughter, I felt that Howard would be smiling too, knowing that all his friends care so much about him. New York is cold big city with lots of shortcomings. But within the Chinese community, there are still so many people who share Howard’s ideals. Even though he has left us, the light will still go on shining in that remote forgotten world. The thought that we still have friends like these makes me feel not so lonely anymore.